Introduction: A Journey of Hope and Survival

It is not often that I write with a heavy heart, but today I am calling out to you, dear reader, as I find myself facing the most critical chapter of my life. Some of you may know me from my publishing insights and my musings about the ever-evolving world of books. But today, I am writing not as a book industry veteran or a blogger, but as a man living with Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD), fighting for survival while tethered to a dialysis machine.

For three long years, I have endured the relentless, exhausting routine of dialysis. It has become a way of life—one I never imagined would be mine. And while I have made the best of it, my health and quality of life are deteriorating. The truth is, I need a kidney transplant to have a chance at living a fuller, healthier life again.

This is my plea: I am looking for a living donor—a beacon of hope in the form of someone selfless and courageous enough to share the gift of life. The words I share here come from a place of vulnerability, but also hope, as I believe someone out there could change my life with an extraordinary act of kindness.

Understanding My Battle with CKD: What’s Dialysis Like?

Imagine being hooked up to a machine three days a week for hours on end. It is draining, both physically and emotionally. Dialysis is life-sustaining, yes, but it is also life-limiting. Every day is a battle to balance the demands of managing my health with the day-to-day tasks of living. CKD has sapped my energy and made even the simplest of pleasures feel like distant memories.

For those who may not fully grasp what CKD and dialysis involve, let me paint a picture. Dialysis is a replacement for the filtering function that healthy kidneys perform. It cleans the blood of toxins, excess fluids, and waste products. However, it is not a perfect solution. It is a grueling process, and while it keeps me alive, it is not a cure. It is more of a stopgap until I can receive a transplant.

Dialysis has also taken a toll on my body in ways that are hard to explain. There are days when I feel like I am on a rollercoaster, with extreme highs and lows. The exhaustion can be overwhelming, leaving me too tired to do much more than get through the treatment itself. The impact on my physical and mental health is profound, and every day, I remind myself that there’s hope. But hope comes at a cost. That cost is the vulnerability of asking for help.

The Reality of Life on Dialysis: How It Has Changed Me

Before CKD, I had dreams of living my life with vitality. I imagined traveling more, deepening my connections with family and friends, and, of course, expanding my passion for the publishing industry. My work has always been my outlet, my way of making sense of the world. But as my health declined, I had to adjust my expectations. Instead of planning trips or envisioning new projects, my reality has been about surviving dialysis sessions and managing the complexities of this disease.

Dialysis restricts me from doing the things I love, and that is perhaps the hardest part. The freedom to live without the constant reminder of illness is something I long for. It is also why finding a kidney donor is so critical for me. The transplant is not just about extending my life—it is about regaining a sense of normalcy, a chance to reclaim my independence.

You might wonder what dialysis does to someone emotionally. The answer is—it isolates. It can make you feel cut off from the world, as your life revolves around a treatment schedule. And while I have tried to remain connected to friends, family, and my work, there is an undeniable feeling of separation. Being dependent on a machine makes you realize how fragile life is. But it also sparks a deeper appreciation for those moments of joy and connection.

Why a Living Donor? The Gift of Life and the Courage to Ask

Now, the question: why a living donor? While deceased donor kidneys are a possibility, the wait can stretch for years—years I may not have. A living donor kidney is the best option for me and many others in my position. Not only do living donor transplants tend to last longer, but the success rates are higher. It is a second chance at life that does not come easily, but when it does, it is nothing short of a miracle.

I want to acknowledge the gravity of what I am asking. It is no small thing to donate a kidney. It is a courageous, selfless decision, and it takes someone with a heart full of compassion and bravery to make such a choice. That is why I call it a gift of life—it is the most profound act of kindness anyone can give. It is an act that says, “I see you, I care, and I’m willing to help you live.”

But even with the complexities, living donors often go on to live perfectly healthy lives with one kidney. Many donors report that the emotional rewards far outweigh any physical discomfort. It is about knowing that you have changed someone’s life in the most significant way imaginable.

If you are reading this and feel moved, even just a little, I encourage you to consider the possibility of becoming a living donor. I know it is a huge ask, but it is one that could bring so much light into both our lives.

My Life Before and After CKD: A Story of Dreams Put on Hold

Before CKD, I was the guy who loved a good challenge—whether it was navigating the ins and outs of the publishing world or taking my dog, Derek, to the lake for a swim. I had energy, enthusiasm, and a thirst for life. But slowly, my condition began to creep in and change the trajectory of my existence.

In 2011, my fiancée and I welcomed Derek, a spunky corgi, into our lives. He was a constant source of joy. Even after I lost my fiancée in 2014, Derek was my companion, helping me cope with the grief. But as CKD progressed, I found myself unable to engage with life the way I once had. Derek passed at 13.5 years, and his loss was devastating, compounding the sense of isolation that CKD had already instilled.

I dream of the day when I can once again live fully, without the constraints of dialysis. I imagine traveling again, visiting the places my fiancée and I once talked about. I picture myself spending time with friends, working on my writing, and reconnecting with the world beyond the hospital walls. This dream is within reach, but I need your help to make it a reality.

How You Can Help: Becoming a Donor or Spreading the Word

You are not able to become a donor, and that is okay. Not everyone can or should. But there are other ways you can help. Sharing my story, raising awareness about living kidney donation, and encouraging others to consider being a donor are all ways to make a difference.

If you are interested in learning more about what it means to be a living kidney donor, I encourage you to reach out to your local transplant center or explore reputable resources online. The decision to become a donor is personal, and I respect that deeply. My only hope is that, through my words, I might inspire someone to consider this life-changing act.

You can also help by simply spreading the word. Share this blog, talk about the need for living donors with your network, and amplify the message. Every share, every conversation, brings me one step closer to finding that beacon of hope.

Closing Thoughts: A Call for Kindness

Living with CKD has been the most humbling experience of my life. It has forced me to confront my own limitations and vulnerabilities. But it has also given me a deeper appreciation for the kindness and generosity of others. I write today not only for myself but for the many others in my shoes who are waiting for a second chance at life.

Asking for help is not easy. But today, I am putting aside my pride and reaching out, because life is too precious to waste. I want to be here to continue sharing my thoughts on the publishing world, to travel, to experience joy again, and to live a life free from the shackles of dialysis. And I can only do that with your help.

To anyone reading this who feels even the smallest inkling to consider donating, I want you to know how grateful I am. Whether it is through direct action or simply sharing my story, you are part of this journey, and I thank you sincerely.

Here is to hope, to kindness, and to the possibility of a brighter future.

This is my story. This is my call for compassion. I believe that somewhere out there, someone will answer.

The Need for Compassion: Contact Information for Living Donors

If you or someone you know is interested in becoming a living kidney donor, please reach out to porter.donorscreen.org. You have the power to transform a life—my life—and I am forever grateful for your consideration.

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